Almost End of the Season NHL Awards
Alright, so we are like 3 weeks away from the end of the season, and now that I've basically been able to see every game, what better time to hand out some premature meaningless awards!
We will start from least least meaningful to most least meaningful, or maybe the other way around. In any case, it's a list and it's hockey.
Winner: Devan Dubnyk (MIN)
Runner up: Carey Price (MTL), Braden Holtby (WAS)
Devan Dubnyk has got to be one of the best stories in the history of the league. He went from being laughed out of the NHL in Edmonton - kind of ironic, considering what a fucking joke that franchise was until McDavid came along - bounced to 3 teams, including the Hamilton Bulldogs in the AHL, to completely resurrecting his career with a Masterton trophy win in 2014-2015 when he started his reign as the NHL's best goalie. As for this season, look at the numbers, he is a fucking stud-cake.
It is close though. Braden Holtby has been a complete stud since he joined the league and hasn't had the luxury of playing behind such a defensive stalwart as the Minnesota Wild. He really hasn't given anyone reason to not vote for him as a Vezina caliber goalie since he started playing at the NHL level.
Carey Price will probably go down as the best goalie of a generation, and I think that's a bit of a shame, He is an all-world player, but he definitely isn't better than Holtby. The only thing holding him back is injuries. If he could stay healthy, it's anyone's award.
Winner: Auston Matthews (TOR)
Runner up: Patrik Laine (WPG), Matt Murray (PIT)
This is a case of Toronto bias. Auston Matthews, while the better player, I think has had a fairly comparable season to Laine thus far. He does play a harder position, and he has had far worse linemates, but I don't know how much that SHOULD affect the award.
Matt Murray should win the Calder, he established himself as a starting goalie and will be a prime target for Vegas expansion. If not for winning the Stanley Cup last year, he might just be the front-runner. Hockey is stupid.
Winner: Erik Karlsson (OTT)
Runner up: Brent Burns (SJ), Shea Weber (MTL)
Erik Karlsson should be given this award every year, but this year he really has it coming. Every season he is a league leader in points for players, forward or defense, and this season he has put to rest a lot of the worry about his defensive commitment. If he were Canadian, this is his award whenever he wants it.
Unfortunately, Karlsson isn't a Canadian surname, but Burns apparently is and this is an award that has recently found itself turned in to a lifetime achievement. Thanks Doughty. In any case, giving Brent Burns the Norris would be anything but a mistake. He has had an amazing season and cemented himself as an elite offensive defenseman. This season though, he hasn't shown the defensive pedigree of Karlsson.
Giving Shea Weber the award would be a mistake. Cuz he's old and sucks.
Winner: John Tortorella (CBJ)
Runner up: Mike Babcock (TOR), Barry Trotz (WAS)
Whoever did whatever to the Colombus Blue Jackets that turned them in to one of the best teams in the Gary Bettman era deserves some kind of recognition. I'll assume that was John Tortorella. Even though he's still an asshole.
Babcock could win this with little argument, and Barry Trotz really just took a great team and kept them great. If they make a deep playoff run, even better. I believe in Barry Trotz.
Winner: Eugene Melnyk (OTT)....just kidding, what a dick.
Winner: Lou Lamoriello (TOR)
Runner up: Steve Yzerman (TB), Jarmo Kekalainen (CBJ)
Er uh, Lou Lamoriello is the best general manager and uh no other general manager is even close. Oh my god, please don't make me disappear. Lou is a genius and players shouldn't have beards, oh please! Don't send me away with Stephane Robidas and Joffrey Lupul. Ah, when did Eric Fehr get here, AH, AH no why are you putting my feet in concrete, I CAN'T SWIM like this!
Isn't he scary? Yeah.
Steve Yzerman managed to prep his team for not only the expansion draft by ditching Ben Bishop, but the team's upcoming cap crunch off-season. How he managed to unload Filppula's $5 million contract was some jedi mind shit. Match that with how he handled Drouin and his re-signing of Stamkos, that team is in the best hands in the league. He's the real winner.
Winner: Connor McDavid (EDM)
Runner up: Sidney Crosby (PIT), Brad Marchand (BOS)
Extra! Extra! The Edmonton Oilers are a hopeless steaming pile of shit without the best player in the world! Read all about it!
Crosby and Marchand are also good.
We will start from least least meaningful to most least meaningful, or maybe the other way around. In any case, it's a list and it's hockey.
Vezina - Best Goaltender
 |
| Devan Dubnyk, best goalie in the world. |
Winner: Devan Dubnyk (MIN)
Runner up: Carey Price (MTL), Braden Holtby (WAS)
Devan Dubnyk has got to be one of the best stories in the history of the league. He went from being laughed out of the NHL in Edmonton - kind of ironic, considering what a fucking joke that franchise was until McDavid came along - bounced to 3 teams, including the Hamilton Bulldogs in the AHL, to completely resurrecting his career with a Masterton trophy win in 2014-2015 when he started his reign as the NHL's best goalie. As for this season, look at the numbers, he is a fucking stud-cake.
It is close though. Braden Holtby has been a complete stud since he joined the league and hasn't had the luxury of playing behind such a defensive stalwart as the Minnesota Wild. He really hasn't given anyone reason to not vote for him as a Vezina caliber goalie since he started playing at the NHL level.
Carey Price will probably go down as the best goalie of a generation, and I think that's a bit of a shame, He is an all-world player, but he definitely isn't better than Holtby. The only thing holding him back is injuries. If he could stay healthy, it's anyone's award.
Calder - Best Rookie
 |
| Not a good Canadian boy. Doesn't play hard in the corner :) |
Winner: Auston Matthews (TOR)
Runner up: Patrik Laine (WPG), Matt Murray (PIT)
This is a case of Toronto bias. Auston Matthews, while the better player, I think has had a fairly comparable season to Laine thus far. He does play a harder position, and he has had far worse linemates, but I don't know how much that SHOULD affect the award.
Matt Murray should win the Calder, he established himself as a starting goalie and will be a prime target for Vegas expansion. If not for winning the Stanley Cup last year, he might just be the front-runner. Hockey is stupid.
Norris - Best Defenseman
 |
| Gorgeous Swedish hockey God! |
Winner: Erik Karlsson (OTT)
Runner up: Brent Burns (SJ), Shea Weber (MTL)
Erik Karlsson should be given this award every year, but this year he really has it coming. Every season he is a league leader in points for players, forward or defense, and this season he has put to rest a lot of the worry about his defensive commitment. If he were Canadian, this is his award whenever he wants it.
Unfortunately, Karlsson isn't a Canadian surname, but Burns apparently is and this is an award that has recently found itself turned in to a lifetime achievement. Thanks Doughty. In any case, giving Brent Burns the Norris would be anything but a mistake. He has had an amazing season and cemented himself as an elite offensive defenseman. This season though, he hasn't shown the defensive pedigree of Karlsson.
Giving Shea Weber the award would be a mistake. Cuz he's old and sucks.
Jack Adams - Best Coach
 |
| This is why nobody likes you. |
Winner: John Tortorella (CBJ)
Runner up: Mike Babcock (TOR), Barry Trotz (WAS)
Whoever did whatever to the Colombus Blue Jackets that turned them in to one of the best teams in the Gary Bettman era deserves some kind of recognition. I'll assume that was John Tortorella. Even though he's still an asshole.
Babcock could win this with little argument, and Barry Trotz really just took a great team and kept them great. If they make a deep playoff run, even better. I believe in Barry Trotz.
Best General Manager
 |
| NOT |
Winner: Eugene Melnyk (OTT)....just kidding, what a dick.
Winner: Lou Lamoriello (TOR)
Runner up: Steve Yzerman (TB), Jarmo Kekalainen (CBJ)
Er uh, Lou Lamoriello is the best general manager and uh no other general manager is even close. Oh my god, please don't make me disappear. Lou is a genius and players shouldn't have beards, oh please! Don't send me away with Stephane Robidas and Joffrey Lupul. Ah, when did Eric Fehr get here, AH, AH no why are you putting my feet in concrete, I CAN'T SWIM like this!
Isn't he scary? Yeah.
Steve Yzerman managed to prep his team for not only the expansion draft by ditching Ben Bishop, but the team's upcoming cap crunch off-season. How he managed to unload Filppula's $5 million contract was some jedi mind shit. Match that with how he handled Drouin and his re-signing of Stamkos, that team is in the best hands in the league. He's the real winner.
Hart Memorial - MVP
 |
| Good Canadian. Plays hard in the corner. :) |
Winner: Connor McDavid (EDM)
Runner up: Sidney Crosby (PIT), Brad Marchand (BOS)
Extra! Extra! The Edmonton Oilers are a hopeless steaming pile of shit without the best player in the world! Read all about it!
Crosby and Marchand are also good.
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